Is this “real-life?”

First off, I’d like to let everyone know just how patriotic I am feeling today on account of my American flag cotton shorts.

I have been wearing them all day and even plan to sleep in them. Doing Poppa Washington proud. ‘Merica.

Secondly, I have had quite the strange day. I have discovered random quirks about myself I didn’t know I possessed. The first being that I cannot sing any Adele song other than “Rumor has it” without being SO off key that I force myself to stop-out of complete embarrassment-by myself.  The second being I discovered that I am an animal whisperer…except to the cats outside the PAC who shun me with every “kitty kitty” call I attempt. Just being honest here; getting rejected by a cat is about twice as bad as getting rejected by a human. So minus failing a chit-chat with the “PAC cats,” I will explain my epiphany of animal whispering (it’s not as weird as it sounds).

As I was coming home this late afternoon (which seems like evening because of the wretched time change) I was shocked (or should I say mortified) to find three deer just “chillin” in our backyard. They didn’t bother to budge as I pulled into our  make-shift driveway nor react when I opened and slammed my door (self-defense). It wasn’t until I was about 10 feet from dasher, dancer, and prancer that they decide to stand up. I was little intimidated…so I took out my phone….and took pictures (because ya know, when you feel threatened you whip out your phone and take pictures and what not). After my photo shoot with Santa’s reindeer was over, I proceeded to “kitty call” these deer…AND THEY CAME UP TO ME. I’m not kidding. I came an arm’s length from touching the little one. But then I got this twisted image in my head that the second I touched it the other two would come trample me. Don’t judge me, it’s happened…in movies.

The last thing I discovered about myself is that I am really resourceful. As I was emptying my scentsy, I managed to get hot wax all over my sweatpants (I discovered I’m clumsy too). The wax, after sinking through my pants and giving me quite the burn, dried. I pitifully tried to scrape off the wax and failed. I tried to use hot water and wash off the wax…and failed. Not wanting to do a load of laundry (lazy college student) I decided I would have to re-heat the wax, but how? The answer; a blow-dryer. So there I was sitting on my bedroom floor blow-drying wax off my sweatpants when I decided I was going to write this blog.

Bless you for reading this. The end.

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One thought on “Is this “real-life?”

  1. This is such a funny post! I love your humor (even though I’m laughing at your misfortunes, sorry). And this weekend is the opening of rifle season for deer so you shouldn’t have to worry about Dasher, Dancer, and Prancer for much longer!

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